professional tea drinker

aquariantides:

adulthood is just an endless stream of phone calls you don’t want to make but have to

tetraghostfan:

*wakes up* what the fuck

koblala:

jayrockin:

Snowflakes are actually the perfect metaphor for people. Each one IS unique, but we all have the same structure and are pretty similar in spite of our differences. And really, with as many around as there is, aint no one gonna notice your differences unless they care enough to look closely.

People are also similar to snowflakes in that it is difficult to drive when there are too many of them piled up on the road.

Well that took a turn I didn’t expect

step 1: stop being beautiful
failed step 1

dorrrito:

when you’re at a new friend’s house and u too shy to ask for foodimage

lamefuckboy:

im-a-walking-paradox:

hip-hop-lifestyle:

what if your friend had a freak accident where his thang got cut off and he need a dick transplant and he ask you for 3 inches

how he gon ask me for all I got

image

spangefucker:

"in case of fire use stairs" that’s ridiculous.  how the FUCK am i supposed to put this fire out with these stairs

commisure:

i dont know whats emptier, my bank account or my love life

moxiearien:

cresentmoon2000:

katiaobinger:

the true american experience is wondering if you just heard firecrackers or gunshots

PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A JOKE

bonus points: both are illegal in your state and you still cannot tell

ashestoashesjc:

i drink GATORADE to replenish my ELECTROLYTES so that i have the STAMINA to talk shit about nerds on the INTERNET